Say "Cock Rock" Like You Mean It
I emerged from my self-imposed musical exile in the back catalog of the Dr. Demento show in the early nineties and began casting around for what music would make me cool. It was a tough time to be uncool and searching for a musical style. Until the grunge thing finally crawled across the continent, all the rebellious youth had to cling to was the heavy metal scene.*
It was a little tough to get into. Some part of me couldn't synthesize the heavy metal stage aesthetic with the hypermacho posturing and the rampant homophobia. There was some piece of that puzzle that just didn't make sense. Thankfully for us all, Rob Halford of Judas Priest came out in 1997 and cleared up the whole mystery. Cock rock really was about cocks this whole time, and if we didn't like it, we could just shut the fuck up.
Fast forward ten years, and the gay metal scene had exploded all over the place. (Pun intended. Sorry.) With the ambiguity gone, and, I think, the happy side effect of taking homosexuality into the heartland of the homophobic, gay metal is pretty much everything awesome about metal in addition to being (maybe intentionally) very high-concept.
For the moment, we're going to gloss over Electric Six, who, in spite of having a song called "Gay Bar" are mostly a band about nothing at all, who do happen to act awfully queer, but it's not really my place to delve into pondering the sexual identity of Dick Valentine, and in any case, their rumored new album isn't out yet, so why should I?
Our first stop is in the frozen Scandinavian North for a visit with Turbonegro, who's new album Retox came out a couple of weeks ago. Like Electric Six, it's a little difficult to tell if Turbonegro's homosexual agenda is gimmick, or gimmick based in reality. Either way, this song is definitely about penises.
Next up is a rocker who first achieved fame by playing guitar naked on the front porch, just as Google Street View's camera car drove by. This week, however, Pink Steel's Udo Von DüYü has blessed us all with a new album and another hard rockin' song about cock.**
Well, that should give you something to think about this Bastille Day.*** Now, I leave you with some words of wisdom from M.C. Frontalot.
See you in the funny papers,
W
* Okay, okay. Unless they were incredible wusses and were into electronica or goth. I tried them, I really did. I just couldn't stand the damn music. Plus, I was too damned angry all the time.
** I don't want you to think that only gay men (or those pretending to be gay men) sing about their penises. You can also be an indie comic superstar and sing songs about your penis.
*** Before you ask, yes. I did post this almost entirely because of the sudden popularity of the Wizard Rock post. The thought of internet users arriving here looking for nice, family friendly songs about Harry Potter and finding songs about penises tickles me pink. Besides, that's what good rock and roll is for, right? Challenging our assumptions?
Comments
What about the Leather Nun? http://home.swipnet.se/~w-29654/
Or, I can't find a website, but does no one remember Extra Fancy?
Maybe they're considered "screamo" or something but what about Boysetsfire?http://www.boysetsfire.org/ I mean, they just broke up, and all, but they were pretty "metal" sounding to me.....
All homophobia aside, how are gay and hypermacho incompatible? I mean, Tom of Finland... how much more hypermacho and delightfully gay can you get?
I don't want you to think that only gay men (or those pretending to be gay men) sing about their penises
Well, I know it's not hard rock or heavy metal, but I'm a bit sad "Detachable Penis" by King Missile wasn't mentioned.
Me: giggle
UP: "I hate you."
FOR A WHOLE YEAR.
jaklumen: A good point-- what I meant was that there was the sort of hypermasculinity which included homophobia amongst the heavy metal listeners that I encountered in my daily life, and that seemed incongruous with the both genres of the metal aesthetic: the androgynous feathery hair part and the hypermacho leather daddy part. Basically, all I'm saying is that the most conspicuous heavy metal listeners I encountered in the early nineties were the mullet crowd who generally wanted to kick my ass because I still thought playing with legos was fun.
Secondarily, it looks like Vu covered the "Detachable Penis" angle earlier. Also, as much as this sort of turned into a big heavy metal sausage fest, it was supposed to just be a nod to the new Pink Steel and Turbonegro albums. I'm just easily distracted.
$6: Bwahahahaha! Brilliant!
OUT AT THE DEVIL is available on CDBaby und iTunes, by the way. Whore? Me? Yes.
GTFSU,
--U